Caffeine

I need to stop drinking coffee- switch to decaf. I love the taste and the way I feel at home when I have a creamy cup in my hand. Though, my mind is all over the place right now and I know it’s impart to the drink. 

I had two cups at a church today. I felt so connected to what was being said and afterwards I felt as though I could communicate with anyone, all of my dreams could come true, and that everything looked bright. A few hours later that outlook has diminished to a minor frenzy. 

Caffeine. 

—

I feel a bit better. I fell asleep on the short flight from Victoria to Vancouver just now. I’m here for a few more minutes before heading up north for an indefinite amount of time. 

— 

My ten days south have been of revelations. 

My siblings are doing well. And my cousin too. Their lives are busy and full with passion, all in places uniquely their own. I am comforted and inspired by this. 

I experience minor shopping addictions while in big cities/ away from home. I’m scared to tally up total costs. 

Fusion. 

I am highly aware of fusion- or untrue bonds with some- in my life these days. I can feel it in my throat. And chest. And stomach. 

By this fusion I mean business that was left unfinished. Words left unsaid. Feelings held onto. Hopes. Anger. Regrets. Confusion. Miscommunication. Resentment. Dependancy. Dreams. Insecurities. Really, just unhealthy relations. 

—

I’m back home now. 

The words “to be bound to no one but myself” runs through my head. 

Hoping to set it all free so that the best may return and new may come. 

—

The introspective north. 

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On that note: Words for Valentines~ by me~ for many~ and myself...

I'm sorry. 

You are free. 

May we all soar.

You are free. 

I love you. 

I am sorry. 

I understand and forgive. 

I am sorry.

I was scared. 

Breath. 

And deeper. 

I love you.

Let's go. 

Our truest paths. 

I am free. 

I am loved. 

I am worthy, and are you.

We are free. 

To find love. 

The truest. 

I think if you believe in it- then it can be real.

Thank you. I am sorry. We are free. Thank you.

Alllllllllllllllllllllllll the best as we walk, swim, dance, and fall towards this light.